Why Intelligent People Struggle Finding Love?

There's been a huge decline in mental health around the world, which is why we're so committed to creating more content than we ever have. Stay tuned and thanks for being a part of our journey. Who hasn't watched at least one movie or show where the smart one piques your interest? From Sherlock Holmes to Shikamaru Nara, the highly intelligent have been sought after. The aloof, intelligent person who unwittingly captivates the hearts of people around them is a popular drop in films. Despite that, they're also often depicted as being incredibly unlucky in love. And this doesn't only happen in movies but also in real life. But why?

Here are six reasons why highly intelligent people struggle with love. Number one, they overthink. When it comes to the popular notion of love, we tend to think of feeling what's right and just following your heart into this sweet mist of romance. And there's absolutely no way that an intelligent person is going to stumble around blindly. They're going to analyze the details and compare the information to trusted standards before they make a big decision. Is it great for data? Yes. Is it wise for the long-term? Yeah. Is it good for enticing and starting a passionate relationship? Not quite. It can be exasperating for some, leading them to mistake the time taken to analyze means for disinterest on the part of the intelligent person.

In a tragic irony, the intelligent person means the opposite. By taking this time to study, plan, and review, they're deeming their love interest as worthy and desirable. That analytical effort is to ensure a best chance of success for the relationship. If there is no interest or a low valuation, they wouldn't bother. Number two, they love their independence. This is one of the problems with the Hollywoodized version of love. It's this whole, "You complete me", concept implying someone is less of a person if they don't find that another half. It encourages co-dependence and indirectly derides self-sufficiency. Highly intelligent people are usually secure in who they are and already feel whole.

don't require another person to complete the picture. They feel another person could add to the picture and make it better. This can be interpreted by others as, "This person just doesn't want me." In truth, this just means that they don't unnecessarily burden their partner. For example, the intelligent person understands their happiness is their own responsibility, not their partners. Number three, they prioritize their goals. This doesn't mean that they think their goals are more important than their partners. It just means that they get things done. They won't be halfway to a goal then abandon it suddenly to get swept into a romance.

They can also see that some goals require a lot of attention and time, which means that relationships would have to be put on the back burner until the goal is done. They may not want to have relationships at all until they've crossed the finish line. Intelligent people rather be single than have a partner who is not of the same mindset or is impatient, because they don't want to end up in an unsupportive and bitter situation. Number four, they have high standards. Well, high in itself is a fairly subjective term, but suffice to say, most intelligent individuals will have some pretty definite standards. They're usually demanding more of themselves and as such, they'll usually have pretty strong boundaries and a definite standard for their partner.

Although the standard can have some small adjustments as they mature, it never does a nose dive. They'd usually prefer surfing through life solo than settling for a substandard relationship. Number five, they think with their heads, but not their gut. The intelligent person tends to lean very heavily on the cold logic, you know, like Spock. They won't even follow a gut instinct if they can't sass out the bits of evidence or clues that contribute to it. So, when it comes to falling in love, the intelligent person often will hit the brakes asking, "Wait, why do I feel this way?" They might mentally go through all of their favorite movies and consider any influences in their life to try to find a reason.

They'll likely then analyze to see if those influences provide good proof. Then, they'll consider making their first move. As you can imagine, it's not exactly the smoothest or timeliest of ways to get passionate. And number six, they are single by choice. Together with being in harmony, happiness, and peace with themselves, this means they aren't desperately seeking someone else to fulfill their basic needs or to help them figure out who they are. They have the luxury of already having a good time on their own and coming up with new ways to do so. At the far end of the spectrum, sometimes they just can't find someone who they feel will add to their world so they choose to be with the one person who truly gets them, themselves.

Love, in and of itself has so many aspects, but we, in general, tend to be heavily influenced by how it's depicted in media and build our ideals of how it's supposed to happen on that. Unfortunately, those that don't follow that particular popular format tend to struggle. Next time that cute geek is awkward around you, consider that it might be a compliment to your worthiness. Which point can you relate to? What insights have you clanged? Does something that's been happening make more sense now? We'd love for you to discuss and expand your mind. And also intelligently, hit that like button.