In an ideal world, choosing an occupation would be a simple process, driven by two primary considerations: finding a job that brings joy and one that provides a reasonable income. However, in reality, our choices are often influenced by additional factors that can lead to a complex and unhappy working life. We are haunted by the need to earn a salary that not only covers our basic expenses but also impresses others, including those we may not like or respect. We also crave autonomy, wanting to be free from the control of others whom we may fear or distrust. Furthermore, we hope to be recognized, esteemed, and perhaps famous, so that we will never feel small or overlooked.
Needless to say, these three additional requirements can make choosing a career path much more challenging and stressful than it needs to be. Instead of focusing on jobs that align with our passions and interests, we often have to compromise and adapt to meet external expectations. This can lead to feelings of anxiety and panic as we strive to meet the high standards set by others. For example, we may feel pressure to pursue a high-paying career, even if it is not in line with our values or skills, simply to avoid being perceived as failures.
What would enable us to make more thoughtful and informed career choices is an experience that may seem unrelated to work: love. A child who has been properly loved is not driven by the need to prove themselves in significant ways. They do not need to excel at school or seek validation from others, as they are already secure in their sense of self-worth. Similarly, an adult who has experienced deep love and acceptance is more likely to make choices that align with their values and passions, rather than trying to impress others or prove their worth.
Here is the rewritten text in paragraph form:
In an ideal world, choosing an occupation would be a simple process, driven by two primary considerations: finding a job that brings joy and one that provides a reasonable income. However, in reality, our choices are often influenced by additional factors that can lead to a complex and unhappy working life.
We are haunted by the need to earn a salary that not only covers our basic expenses but also impresses others, including those we may not like or respect. We also crave autonomy, wanting to be free from the control of others whom we may fear or distrust. Furthermore, we hope to be recognized, esteemed, and perhaps famous, so that we will never feel small or overlooked.
Needless to say, these three additional requirements can make choosing a career path much more challenging and stressful than it needs to be. Instead of focusing on jobs that align with our passions and interests, we often have to compromise and adapt to meet external expectations.
This can lead to feelings of anxiety and panic as we strive to meet the high standards set by others. For example, we may feel pressure to pursue a high-paying career, even if it is not in line with our values or skills, simply to avoid being perceived as failures.
What would enable us to make more thoughtful and informed career choices is an experience that may seem unrelated to work: love. A child who has been properly loved is not driven by the need to prove themselves in significant ways. They do not need to excel at school or seek validation from others, as they are already secure in their sense of self-worth.
Similarly, an adult who has experienced deep love and acceptance is more likely to make choices that align with their values and passions, rather than trying to impress others or prove their worth.
When we feel loved and secure, we can find our own path to pleasure and fulfillment. We don't need to constantly seek validation or try to impress others, because we know that we are special just by existing. We may still work hard, but it's because we are passionate about our work, not because we crave external recognition. We can focus on doing a job well without worrying about what others think or whether we'll be remembered in the future.
An experience of adult love can further enhance our sense of security. When someone loves us deeply, they provide us with a sense of rootedness and belonging. We feel welcome and at peace, and it doesn't matter if we're not famous or wealthy. As D.H. Lawrence wrote, "Two people who are in love will be happy to sleep on a park bench," conveying the idea that love gives us the freedom to prioritize our emotional needs over material possessions.
It's not greed that drives people to crave power, fortune, and fame, but rather an unfulfilled need for love. This can lead to a sense of emotional damage and an excessive pursuit of achievements. We may not even realize what we're doing, but we're trying to compensate for the lack of love we felt in our childhood by achieving success in our careers.
We should ask ourselves: what would my life be like if I had felt properly loved from the start? And we may have to acknowledge that our choices would have been different, and that we sacrificed our genuine ambitions for the sake of acceptance. The most impressive career achievements will never compensate for the lack of love we experienced. Work cannot fix a deficit of love.
Instead, we should enjoy work on its own terms and find ways to mourn and heal from the lack of love we experienced in our childhood.
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